Case of the Mondays.

Well, it seems as though I have a case of the Mondays. It didn't start out that way. I left my house this morning thanking God, out loud, for the job that I have.
Actually I did that like three times. I absolutely love my job. Even when it sucks. I was so ready to get back to work. I love seeing the kids I work with. My most recent long-term assignment, teaching gym every MWF, was just starting to feel comfortable. I felt that I was finally reaching even the far-reaching students.
When I arrived at school, I went to get the keys to my office. Someone in the office asked me, "What are you doing here?" I didn't know how to respond. I just kind of started stuttering something. She said there was another gym teacher who was hired before Christmas break, didn't the sub office tell me? Uh, no. So, with keys in hand and absolute shock I just stared at her and then the principal. The principal just made light of it, like she held no responsibility or knowledge of what was going on. Unbelievable. She told me that if I wanted to stay for the day...I could acquaint the new teacher with the details of things. Oh, how accommodating of her. I felt like I was going to vomit up my breakfast all over them. Who is so unprofessional?
Attempting to be unflappable (which is certainly NOT in my nature), I walked to my office, looked around, tried to figure out what needed to be taken care of, how to organize the information I had just received. I absently filled out my sub sheet for the day, and walked back to the office. I thought perhaps that was simply an illusion. Perhaps that didn't really happen. I was stopped by an employee who asked me what I was doing there...the "real" gym teacher had just walked in. Oh, and there she is.
Well, I was indeed unflappable. I was kind and showed her everything. We both showed excitement about all the great gym supplies the school had through a grant. The first class came in and I just couldn't pull it together. Was I supposed to start this out? I tried. I couldn't think about anything else but the fact that this was not going to be my reality any longer.
I introduced them to their new teacher. And then felt like a goddamned idiot. WTF? Okay, just move forward. That's what I kept telling myself. The students were confused. I was asked what was going on...was I fired? was this my assistant? No, I said, this is your new teacher for the rest of the year. They still looked confused. Well, one student asked, where are you going to be working in the school. I had to tell them, this is my last day. I was holding back sobs. The wave of illness passing over me again.
After a few classes like that, I just went to the principal and told her that I was going to leave and she was going to pay me for the day. There's no reason that I should be there.
She told me she'd contact the sub office. So after several degrading moments, it was lunch and I left. and drove. and cried. Not that a certified teacher took my spot, but by the unbelievable manner in which I was treated.
I need to let this go.