I have recently experienced true love. It was so very beautiful. I have never felt so able to be myself. I have never felt such patience and such ability to accept the moment for the moment. I have never felt such ability to love someone for who they were at that very moment. Not for whom I hoped they'd be, but with their faults. Never have I experienced something so gorgeous. Because, it signified that I was doing that same very thing for myself. It's been a long time coming that I've tried to love myself as much as I believe that I should.
It just happened to be the man that I messed up with last summer. Well, I've come to understand that it wasn't me who messed up. It is just a young man who in so many ways is in the beginning stages of loving himself. I've been there, I get it. But his refusal to be loved has got to be one of the most painful things I've ever felt. I almost wish I could by pass this lesson...because it is really painful. I just pray that the love we shared will be something he can reflect on at some point...that I was someone he will KNOW beyond a doubt loves him. Because I do. But I have been rejected and I know that I need to let go of this...move forward and be grateful for this realization.
I am excited for the next time I'm able to experience this depth.
